Monday, December 3, 2007

Excerpt from “Sale of a Deathman”

Excerpt from “Sale of a Deathman”
Tomas Seidita

In the multibillion-dollar industry that is the Afterlife, no one holds more sway than the YHWH Corporation, ltd. “YHWH: Insuring your soul for eternity… today,” as the adverts say. Since the beginning of time, YHWH and its CEO Jehovah have provided affordable post-life services to any and all comers (provided they’ve signed the appropriate contracts and followed the set terms and conditions). And what a job they have done! The massive conglomerate grew from a small startup company with a devoted customer base to one of, if not the, most powerful worldwide Afterlife service providers. The company not only ate up multiple competitors, some of which remain extant as subsidiary brands, but also invested in a number of non-afterlife oriented companies. Time Warner (now merged with AOL) is in fact the company’s largest mortal-services subsidiary group.

On the other side of the fence is MorningStar Inc., the parent company of Clear Channel and the market leader in Eternal Damnation. MorningStar’s history as a company mirrors its biggest competitor’s in many ways. MorningStar was born in the garage of founder and CEO Lucifer not long after he had been fired from YHWH over a case of corporate espionage. Lucifer used the experience he’d gathered over his millennia at YHWH to start MorningStar.

As time wore on, the two companies began to settle into their places as market leaders, buying out or bankrupting any company standing in their way. Eventually none were left standing but the two, set to reign for eternity over the Afterlife. And the two moguls saw all that they had made, and, behold, it was very good. Centuries ticked by, people dying, some going one way, some going the other, and neither company made the slightest move against the other. Until quietly, so quietly that it took anybody quite some time to notice it, greed slipped into the room.


JaredJanus said...

I thought your story had a really funny/interesting idea. Also the title is pretty great.

Anna Cruze said...

this was rad.